Compulsive writing o.O

You ever get this feeling...

Like, this feeling that just nags and nags at you, until you gotta do what it wants?!

That happens to me often... often enough to drive me nuts...

Sometimes I just have to draw something...
sometimes I just have to repeat something...
sometimes I must count something......
But a lot of times it's this compulsion to write...

and it isn't a terrible compulsion... it's actually kind of relieving sometimes, even when I don't know what the flip it is that I want to write about...

So, now that you got a back story on the madness that is the inside of my head.... I can tell you that I have no clue what it is that I want to write about but I'm gonna move these little fingers until I feel it.. lol

There are times when the odd feeling will start nagging at me and I will attempt to ignore it but it never really works because all that ends up happening is that I get EXTREMELY anxious and eventually succumb to the needs of my compulsion....

such is life in my head.... -_-

Funny thing about this compulsion bullshizzz is that when it would be convenient to be compulsive like when I think about doing something and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and... well you get the point... the compulsion doesn't take over and just do it... it instead waits until the moment the thought has completely passed or the opportunity has been missed, to then compulsively and obsessively think about the missed opportunity...

Why must you be so cruel brain?

Seriously,  I consider myself to be quite outgoing and outspoken.... calculatedly of course, but none the less. But there are certain things that no matter how much I want to, My brain somehow says... "Nope, not gonna"
and so, since I have no choice but to obey my brain I don't... but then here comes my (I have no fricking clue what to call it... maybe my brain is split or something) and has that whole "smack-your-head-while-you-call-yourself-stupid" thing happen... over and over and over and over and... well you get it... lol again.

I can't say that I hate it, I have this kind of love/hate thing going on with it... 

It keeps me on my toes to think about lots of shtuff, and it drives me insane at the same time.

In a strange way it's like I love my insanity...

o.O
what the actual frack am I talking about?...


That's my cue... I'll take a break now...